Irresponsible
It was a bomb, I was just curious.
Didn't know what was coming for me.. How Naive.
People were giving me advice BUT i guess I didn't take it seriously.
People were telling me, BUT i guess I don't listen enough.
Been thru the DOWNS very often.
Planning thru stuff that I don't even know is it workable.
People were asking me what can they help, BUT i don't know.
People were doubting and so do I.
Events after events, Dinner after dinners.
I've been thru the past year.
Thought I would love the life But I was not.
Thought I would make it thru, BUt I was not.
As what I can see, they are fighting thru.
As what I can see they are achieving.
But me, still slow moving..
But only me, Im still in point zero.
Being the youngest, I know it's tough.
Being the eldest, i know it's hard.
And me, maybe too naive to even voice.
And me, Maybe too proud of myself to even think.
Everyone have their own upS and downS.
Everyone there is slowly gaining their power.
But Me, being the youngest and still crawling.
But me, being the slowest and messiest or all.
I know I had cause lots of trouble.
I know they're trying to help.
But I guess I am not that teamwork friendly as i thought.
I guess I don't know how to work with them.
It seem like everyone is fine.
Even the biggest problem solved.
He grew his passion out of it.
Only me being left behind nothing but DUST.
Slowly I realize more and more.
I know that Im not worth their time.
I know that Im not winning anything.
I guess I die off. I guess I didn't know I was holding such responsibility.
1 month plus I am here. I think and think everyday.
The time Im at home make me realize lots of things.
I am not worth the title.
Im not worth the name.
So what I can say now is..
Im irresponsible.
Im not worthy.
And Im a procrastinator.
For all these while, I thought I had change.
But how foolish I am to even think that way.
I changed but old habit die hard.
I realize it starting to eat me up again.
Im sorry to my members.
Im sorry to everyone that look up on me.
I didn't know I can't make it thru.
I didn't know I was this useless.
I didn't try my best. And i know it.
I didn't make a move when I should be.
I didn't play a part when I was suppose to.
I didn't ask for help when I was in doubt.
As now you can see what the other side of me.
I am here to apologize of all trouble I had cause.
Of all the work I had not been able to fulfill.
Of all the responsibility that was being put on me.
I know this is not enough.
I know I am good in talking but not practical.
But i guess It's not easy for me to change that fast.
It's a failure in me. I know it is.
Im sorry again for not being there when i am suppose to be.
Im sorry for letting others to follow up my responsibility.
Im sorry for letting ALL OF YOU down.
Im sorry for simply being irresponsibility.
I know I can't erase the fact.
I know it will forever be there.
So let it be.
But I will end this quick.Hopefully i will end this quick.
If I can't erase the past.
If I can't help more on the situation.
If YOU can't bare me anymore.
Then let's end this now.
For I will never be able to make more mistake.
For I will never be able to disappoint anyone anymore.
For I will stay out of the game.
For someone better to take the task.
Didn't know what was coming for me.. How Naive.
People were giving me advice BUT i guess I didn't take it seriously.
People were telling me, BUT i guess I don't listen enough.
Been thru the DOWNS very often.
Planning thru stuff that I don't even know is it workable.
People were asking me what can they help, BUT i don't know.
People were doubting and so do I.
Events after events, Dinner after dinners.
I've been thru the past year.
Thought I would love the life But I was not.
Thought I would make it thru, BUt I was not.
As what I can see, they are fighting thru.
As what I can see they are achieving.
But me, still slow moving..
But only me, Im still in point zero.
Being the youngest, I know it's tough.
Being the eldest, i know it's hard.
And me, maybe too naive to even voice.
And me, Maybe too proud of myself to even think.
Everyone have their own upS and downS.
Everyone there is slowly gaining their power.
But Me, being the youngest and still crawling.
But me, being the slowest and messiest or all.
I know I had cause lots of trouble.
I know they're trying to help.
But I guess I am not that teamwork friendly as i thought.
I guess I don't know how to work with them.
It seem like everyone is fine.
Even the biggest problem solved.
He grew his passion out of it.
Only me being left behind nothing but DUST.
Slowly I realize more and more.
I know that Im not worth their time.
I know that Im not winning anything.
I guess I die off. I guess I didn't know I was holding such responsibility.
1 month plus I am here. I think and think everyday.
The time Im at home make me realize lots of things.
I am not worth the title.
Im not worth the name.
So what I can say now is..
Im irresponsible.
Im not worthy.
And Im a procrastinator.
For all these while, I thought I had change.
But how foolish I am to even think that way.
I changed but old habit die hard.
I realize it starting to eat me up again.
Im sorry to my members.
Im sorry to everyone that look up on me.
I didn't know I can't make it thru.
I didn't know I was this useless.
I didn't try my best. And i know it.
I didn't make a move when I should be.
I didn't play a part when I was suppose to.
I didn't ask for help when I was in doubt.
As now you can see what the other side of me.
I am here to apologize of all trouble I had cause.
Of all the work I had not been able to fulfill.
Of all the responsibility that was being put on me.
I know this is not enough.
I know I am good in talking but not practical.
But i guess It's not easy for me to change that fast.
It's a failure in me. I know it is.
Im sorry again for not being there when i am suppose to be.
Im sorry for letting others to follow up my responsibility.
Im sorry for letting ALL OF YOU down.
Im sorry for simply being irresponsibility.
I know I can't erase the fact.
I know it will forever be there.
So let it be.
But I will end this quick.Hopefully i will end this quick.
If I can't erase the past.
If I can't help more on the situation.
If YOU can't bare me anymore.
Then let's end this now.
For I will never be able to make more mistake.
For I will never be able to disappoint anyone anymore.
For I will stay out of the game.
For someone better to take the task.
